[verse]
Pick a card. Pick any card.
The grid is laid out here for you.
So you can make a choice or two,
And see if you can win.

Pick again, and pick the same.
And you will win a point or two.
I hope that all your dreams come true,
As you pick the same again.

[pre-chorus]
Flip the cards, what will you find?
A match or a mismatch in your hand?
Remember where you’ve seen that card before,
To match them all and earn the score.

[chorus]
Flip the other, is it just the same?
Did you win this time? Have you beat the game?
Remember where the cards are laid.
So that all the matches can be made.

[break]

[verse]
Pick a card, yeah, pick just one,
The grid is laid, the game’s begun.
Make your move, and choose with care,
Will you find a matching pair?

Pick again, and hope you’re right,
A match will bring you pure delight.
Focus hard, and take your aim,
Can you pick the same again?

[break]

[bridge]
The clock is ticking, the pressure’s on,
One wrong move, and your chance is gone.
But trust your memory, don’t despair,
You’ll find the match—it’s waiting there!

[break]

[pre-chorus]
Flip the cards, what will you find?
A match or a mismatch in your hand?
Remember where you’ve seen that card before,
To match them all and earn the score.

[chorus]
Flip the other, is it just the same?
Did you win this time? Have you beat the game?
Remember where the cards are laid.
So that all the matches can be made.

JNKCE20241203

Remote Possibilities

[Dave's Living Room. A coffee table sits in the middle, with carefully arranged remote controls positioned in midair using elaborate articulating arms. Dave is pushing a sofa around while Green watches]

Dave: No, no... this angle's all wrong. Can't get line of sight to the TV.
Green: You know, you could just get a normal TV. One that doesn't need the remotes positioned like some sort of ancient sundial.
Dave: Normal TV? What's normal about a TV that doesn't need precise remote alignment?
Green: Most TVs, Dave. Most TVs are like that.
Dave: None of the TVs I've had.
Green: That statement is not mutually exclusive.
Dave: [thinks] Like a radio button?
Green: No, the opposite.
Dave: Good. 'cos I've not set up my radio yet.

[Dave stops pushing the sofa and stares at Green in disbelief]
Dave: Next you'll be telling me you don't need to maintain exact distances between your subwoofer and the door.
Green: Actually...
Dave: Or that leather sofas aren't the superior choice.
Green: They're really not. You stick to them. Especially when you're naked.
Dave: If it stops you being naked in here, that probably counts as a good thing.

[Dave continues repositioning furniture]
Dave: Look, if we put the armchair here...
Green: It's facing the wall.
Dave: Yes, but the remote signal will bounce perfectly off the Cola poster!
Green: Dave, I've seen you use normal remote controls before.
Dave: Those weren't proper setups. This is scientific.

[Dave pulls out a measuring tape]
Dave: Do we go for 3 and a half inch or 5 and a quarter inch? Which is the optimum size?
Green: Why floppy disk sizes?
Dave: So I can layer a set of disks around the edge of the carpet, obviously.
Green: Of course. Silly me.

[Dave steps back to admire his work]
Dave: Now I just need to calculate the optimal cushion placement...
Green: And what are those going to be made of? Shredded spreadsheets for their padding?
Dave: I'm not sure that would be very comfortable. No, it's for easy access to the Cola storage. I'm not completely mad!

[End credits roll as Dave produces a protractor and starts measuring cushion angles]