[verse]
Dropping down counters, (drop)
Down to the bottom, (down)
Of the game board, (game board)
Gotta score rows. (lines)

Splashing down to the base, (base base)
To the bottom of the case, (case case)
Where they lie, and they pile (pile pile)
and occasionally link. (link link link 'em up)

(click-click-click link)

[chorus]
Drop 'em in, watch 'em spin,
Strategise for the win.
Make a line, claim your prize,
See it right before your eyes.

[break]

[verse]
Set 'em up. Make a row. (row)
Or a column, Link 'em so, (so)
Make a line in the air. (air)
Link 'em up how you dare. (dare)

Left to right, to and fro, (to and fro)
Make a cross, diagonal. (diagonal)
Can you win, will you beat, (will you beat)
Score a magical defeat. (I smell defeat)

(smells like defeat to me)

[break]

[chorus]
Drop 'em in, watch 'em spin, (spinning all around)
Strategise for the win. (all for the win)
Make a line, claim your prize, (gotta get a prize)
See it right before your eyes. (within your eyes)

JNKCE20241227

The Great Can Conundrum

Int. Dave's Kitchen
[Dave is collecting empty Cola cans from various surfaces, including from his Cola desk and Cola shelves.

Dave: *singing to himself* Jingle time is full of cola, Christmas festive limited edition..
[Lady Computer's screen flickers]
Dave: What? No, that wasn't the actual lyrics. I improvised.

[Dave looks at overflowing recycling bin]
Dave: Oh dear. Mr Wheelie Bin seems to have shrunk, this festive season.

[Lady Computer flickers rapidly]
Dave: That's true, this is his first christmas with me. Perhaps he's usually this small.
[Screen displays crushing-can animation]
Dave: *gasps in horror* Lady Computer! How could you suggest such violence?!

[Dave cradles a can]
Dave: These cans have been loyal servants of refreshment. Each one has given their fizzy life for the cause!

[Lady Computer displays statistics about recycling]
Dave: But... but they're historical artefacts! This one's from... .. Tuesday!

[Screen flickers impatiently]
Dave: And this one! This one witnessed the Great Turkey Incident of Christmas Day!

[Mrs Microwave beeps smugly]
Dave: Don't you start! You're still in trouble for what you did to the Christmas Pudding.

[Dave heads outside to the Wheelie Bin area]

Dave: *whispering to the cans* Don't worry, we'll think of something. Maybe we can build you a new home from old computer parts?

[Lady Computer's screen visible through the window, displaying the crushing animation again]
Dave: [hiding the cans from the screen] Don't look! She's being insensitive!

[Pause as Dave has an idea]
Dave: Wait! What if... what if we stack them like the ancient Cola-Egyptians? We could make a pyramid! On my Cola desk!

[Lady Computer displays a warning symbol]
Dave: Fine! But I'm not crushing them. I'll just... encourage them to become more spatially efficient through voluntary dimensional optimisation!

[End credits roll as Dave attempts to teach his Cola cans yoga positions, while Lady Computer's screen displays a facepalm emoji]