[verse]
[verse]
Where is Greenie going? He's looking for his disks.
He cannot find them anywhere, Or even any bits.
The data was important, so he'd love to have them back.
Whether Red or Blue or Green or White or Yellow, Pink or Black.

[chorus]
Floppy Disks hold the key to the data that he seeks.
Will he find them in a bucket, or a jug?
As he searches almost endlessly to track them all down.
Did he put them in the fish tank or a mug?

[break]

[verse]
Searching high and low through all the backup drawers,
After he found the key under the welcome mat,
Which he put down there to remind himself,
Of where he's put the key when he locked the drawers.

[chorus]
Floppy Disks hold the key to the data that he seeks.
Will he find them in a teapot or a shoe?
As he searches almost endlessly to track them all down.
Maybe hidden in a plant pot or bamboo?

[break]

[verse]
But inside the filing cabinet was naught,
No files or disks or anything to report.
He looked around on the shelves, in the fridge, on the window,
But no matter how hard, all the disks were gone.

[chorus]
Floppy Disks hold the key to the data that he seeks.
Will they be wrapped up in paper or a sock?
As he searches almost endlessly to track them all down.
Could they be behind the grandfather clock?

[break]

[verse]
Where were the disks? Where had they gone.
He looked real hard, and he looked very long.
But he couldn't find them. Oh where could they be?
He carried on hunting around for the floppy three.

[chorus]
Floppy Disks hold the key to the data that he seeks.
Where's his data gone, his precious bits and bytes?
As he searches almost endlessly to track them all down.
Could they be inide the freezer or the microwave tonight?

[outro]
Have they slipped inside some crackers or some bread?
Are they underneath the pillow of his bed?
Will they be inside an oven mitt or bowl?
The disks have character! They have a soul!

JNKCE20250103

First Name Basis

Int. Dave's Kitchen - Evening
[Dave and Green sit at the kitchen counter eating fries. Master Air Fryer proudly displays "DONE"]

Dave: These fries are perfect. See? Working perfectly.
Green: Or because I fixed it.
Dave: Your lack of faith in kitchen appliances is disturbing. They have feelings too.
Green: The only thing they feel is when the food is cooked and switch off themselves. And even that's not guaranteed.
Dave: Now we just need a perfect burger to go with the fries.

[Mrs Microwave beeps hopefully]
Dave: No! For the last time, those microwave burgers are terrible now. They changed the recipe or something, and the bun goes all crusty and hard.
Green: You could always get one of those George Foreman grill doohickeys.
Dave: Nah, I don't trust appliances with first names. Too personal. What kind of appliance needs a first name?
Green: Mr Standard Fridge, Master Air Fryer ... [looks around the kitchen] Hmm..
Dave: There's a difference between a name, a nickname, and then a proper term of respect. We must respect all of the people and gadgets who do good for us. Not give them silly nicknames.
Green: You call me Greenie all the time.

[Lady Computer displays "Mr Green is the best"]
Dave: Lady Computer is very formal.
Green: Lady Computer knows how important I am, and that I can fix appliances.
Dave: No, she's just being polite. Like Master Air Fryer.
Green: Master.. Kevin would work just as well.
Dave: KEVIN? How dare you! That's like calling you... um... Steve.
Green: My name's Martin.
Dave: Shut up, Steve.

[Mrs Microwave beeps]
Dave: I know, right? The disrespect! Steve..
Green: You genuinely believe Mrs Microwave is offended?
Dave: Of course she is. She's very traditional.

[Master Air Fryer displays "DONE" again]
Dave: Oh! More fries are ready!
Green: You didn't put any more in.
Dave: Master Air Fryer's just being enthusiastic.
Green: Or it's stuck on "DONE".
Dave: It's showing initiative!

[Lady Computer starts displaying a slideshow of famous Georges]
Dave: Not helping, Lady Computer.
Green: Look, I'm just saying, having a first name doesn't make an appliance evil.
Dave: Next you'll be telling me to buy one of those Henry Hoovers.
Green: They're not even Hoovers. Hoover is a brand name, and has nothing to do with Henry. They're just called Henry.
Dave: Never gonna happen.

[End credits]