Mum's "don't tell the internet how old I am" birthday was yesterday.
Happy Birthday, Mum.
-=-=-
I've bought Mum a bunch of bits and pieces over the past few days, including a new Ring Doorbell, a nice metal tree-decoration thing for the living room, and a Huawei Band 9.
I treated myself a Huawei Band 9, too, and the two of us walked to the local shop, where my step-count for the shop shot up to about twice what it normally is, so I think I'm going to have to see if I can calibrate that, or something.
.. Either that or cheat and pretend I've done twice a walk every day
...
Oh yeah, Mum's birthday! Stop talking about yourself, Jay.
Mum got a bunch of gifts from Uncle and Aunt. A pen, some candles, a handbag and a nice glass mug that looks incredibly fancy.
My sister came around, spent a good few hours with us. We had a lovely long chat and a nice Chinese takeout from the place around the corner.
After that was some telly, some relaxing, and general chilling out.
All in all, a nice relaxing day spent with Mum and Sis.
Happy Birthday Mum
Meanwhile...
I got a couple of lines of code done for the Asset Library, but nowhere near enough!
I'm up to the point of adding all the images of a set into a "CopyAll" variable, which I can copy to the clipboard when you hit the "All" button.
I'm having to dig through your code, setup an array of free-slots in your Symbol list, and then I can plop sprites into those values when the user copies the symbol.
.. It's ok, it should work out well enough
Today I'll probably finish that off, before going back to the Cow game, which may or may not contain a gun.
[verse]
The list is all listing, but some bits are still missing.
Where are the buttons to perform all the functions?
The function's not here. I search but it's gone.
Did I code in my sleep? In real life, there is none.
[chorus]
Where did the code go? I swear that I wrote it.
I saw it last night, but I just canāt decode it.
The syntax is right, but the logic is broken.
The screen just stays blank, and my will is eroded.
[break]
[verse]
I checked all my files. Did I forget to save it?
I coded for hours. There's no way I just dreamt it.
I swear there was logic, and well-structured syntax,
There's not even a cow with a well-defined pickaxe.
[break]
[chorus]
Where did the code go? I swear that I wrote it.
I saw it last night, but I just canāt decode it.
The syntax is right, but the logic is broken.
The screen just stays blank, and my will is eroded.
[verse]
I rewrite the function, my patience is fading.
Lines upon lines.. Wait, what am I making?
At last, it appears! I managed to hack it.
Then it crashes again, 'cos I left out a bracket.
[break]
[bridge]
The debugger is laughing,
The consoleās on fire.
My function has vanished,
Like code from a liar.
The output is nonsense,
The logicās a mess.
It works in my head,
But when ran, it's quite dead.
[break]
[chorus]
Where did the code go? I swear that I wrote it.
I saw it last night, but I just canāt decode it.
The syntax is right, but the logic is broken.
The screen just stays blank, and my will is eroded.
"Cartoon Derek chases a laptop through a colourful nightmare cityscape filled with evil syntax errors and sprawling lines of 1980s BASIC code, colourful cyan code in a glowing green world, phosphor glow, ASCII cow floating overhead, "Moo!"" by Replicate/Flux
[Dave stands by the Effervescent Engine with a fancy label maker, occasionally taking sips from a Coke can stashed by a nearby bush]
Dave: Right! Time to get organised!
Green: About time. What are you organising?
Dave: The valves. I'm labelling each one with the current fizz values, so I can reuse them if I ever need to reset things.
Green: Ooh, I see.
Dave: And naming them, too. This is the primary fizz injector, though it used to be the secondary cola pump.
Green: Perhaps they should be named after colas, so you aren't losing your cola-obsessed brand.
Dave: I dunno, Greenie. I'm struggling enough with trying not to fill this thing with coke. Let's stick to just fizzy names.
[Dave prints a label reading "PROBABLY IMPORTANT - DO NOT TOUCH"]
Green: I'm not really sure that's a useful label, Dave.
Dave: Better than nothing! Anyway, look how professional these labels look.
Green: They sure do look very fancy. I'm not sure you need the Cybersoft Trademark on all the labels, though.
Dave: Someone might steal one of my labels!
Green: Then how will you know the correct fizz values?
Dave: I'll be taking a high-def photo of this, once all the labels are on.
Green: I've seen your photos. I'll take it.
Dave: OK, this one. Um. Fizzy Thing #7. Will that do for a name?
Green: Maybe you could make a spreadsheet of possible names, instead of plucking them out of thin air?
Dave: It's ok, they're only valves, they won't know any better.
Green: Sure, but it might help you remember things, if High Fizzability is next to Fizzilessy, and so on.
[Dave attaches more labels]
Dave: "Danger: Extreme Fizz"... "More Fizz Than This Would Be Bad"... "Fizzinator 3000"...
Green: None of these are actual measurements, Dave.
Dave: Don't worry, the values will be underneath. The label printer only does one line at a time.
[Green gives Dave a knowing look]
Dave: OK, ok, it can do three lines, but then it won't fit the Cybersoft trademark on it.
Green: Ridiculous..
Dave: Right, what should we call this important-looking one?
Green: How about we figure out exactly what it does, first?
Dave: Nah, too technical. "Supreme Fizz Commander" it is!
Green: You're just making these up now.
Dave: I'm allowed. Anyway, I prefer to think of it as "creative documentation."
[Lady Computer flashes "HELP ME" through the window]
Dave: See? Even Lady Computer's getting into the labeling spirit!
Green: I don't think that's what she means.
Dave: And this one... [prints label] "Do not adjust unless wearing goggles and carrying emergency Coke"
Green: That's oddly specific.
Dave: Learned that one the hard way yesterday!
[End Credits Roll]
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