[verse]
The cow is running home to play on his computer.
He's grabbed a floppy disk, but isn't sure what's upon it.
He hopes it's a fascinating game that he can play,
But he knows he struggles holding a joystick. (Joystick)
With his little hoofy hands, he can't hold it. (Hold it)

[pre-chorus]
But he'll give it a try, no matter the outcome.
He slots in the disk, and he waits for it loading.
The bootscreen appears and he has to right click,
But his hoof and the mouse just don't fit. (no no)
So he can't get beyond the Fairlight screen (so cracked)

[bridge]

[chorus]
But what is the game? The disk had no label.
The crackscreen says something about dreams coming true.
The cow's dreams can't come true if he can't click the mouse,
But he's happy to be listening to all of the tunes (yeah)
That are coming from his happy computer. (wooo)

[bridge]

[verse 2]
With a hoof on the spacebar, Pixels burst into life
A magical digital world unfurls.
Mystical quests and secret levels appear.
As the cow embarks on his epic adventure. (let's go)
And he navigates the world with the keyboard. (tap tap)

[pre-chorus]
But he's being as gentle as he can. (tap tap)
So he doesn't cause more damage
To the aging technology,
Which is looking rather yellow,
for its decades old age.

(yeah!)
[bridge]

[chorus]
But what is the game? The disk had no label.
The crackscreen says something about dreams coming true.
The cow's dreams can't come true if he can't click the mouse,
But he's happy to be listening to all of the tunes (yeah)
That are coming from his happy computer. (wooo)

JNKCE20250209

Breakfast Theory

Int. Dave's Kitchen

[Dave stands in his cola-stickered kitchen, surrounded by breakfast ingredients]
Dave: Right! Time for the perfect Sunday breakfast.

[Lady Computer's screen visible from living room, shows a cooking timer]
Dave: Don't need that, Lady Computer. I'm a breakfast professional!

[Dave takes a sip from one of several strategically placed Coke cans]
Dave: Now, according to my calculations, if I time this right... everything should finish cooking at exactly the same moment.

[Lady Computer displays "UNLIKELY" in toast-coloured letters]
Dave: Oh ye of little faith! It's all about timing. Like calibrating the Effervescent Engine, but with sausages.

[Dave starts arranging pans]
Dave: Hmmm.. That's not a bad idea. Bacon and Sausages for mathematical formulae?
Dave: Anyway, If I apply my computing knowledge to this... the sausages are like the primary processes... the eggs are background tasks... and the beans are basically just data in a red hot cache...

[Starts multiple things cooking at once]
Dave: See? Perfect organization! Just like my cola collection!

[Smoke starts rising from one of the pans]
Dave: That's fine, that's fine... just like when coding, sometimes you need to let things crash and restart.. Other times you have to twiddle the hob-nobs and make things a bit calmer.

[Lady Computer displays a fire extinguisher emoji]
Dave: I meant to do that! The slightly burnt bits add character!

[More smoke]
Dave: And right on time.. The toast.
[Toast pops, completely black]

Dave: Perfect! Just how I like it! Though I don't actually remember putting that in, but we'll keep going...

[ping]
Dave: Oh right, the eggs!

[Rushing to save eggs]
Dave: This is fine! This is fine! Just like debugging...

[Dave slurps a half-cooked egg onto a plate with various burnt, unrecognisable meat products.]
Dave: There! Breakfast! Version 1.0... might need some patches...

[Takes another sip of Coke]
Dave: Maybe I should've just had cereal...

[Dave sits down at the breakfast table, grabs his knife and fork, and slices through what may be a sausage.]
Dave: Perfect!

[End Credits, as Lady Computer displays a picture of a pan full of beans]