OK, the game's actually quite fun to play. But it's still lacking "Danger"
-=-=-
The cow can run around, he can smash up boxes, powerup his axe, and .. Things are working pretty well.
But there's no real danger, yet.
That is to say, there's nothing in the mineshaft that could hurt the cow, other than his own stupidity when smashing boxes at a rapid rate.
I definitely need to add some sort of enemies into the mix, and .. Let's just avoid doing Spikes, huh?!
My head keeps saying "piglets", but little piglets would look tiny next to big ol' cow, so I've been trying to decide what to do instead.
Maybe I'll just do giant piglets and call them mutant piglets?!!
I dunno.
I should probably point out, the Blaster's now disappeared from the game again!
Will it make a return before the game's release?
And will the game's release happen today? Or will I delay it until tomorrow?!
[Verse 1]
What have I got in my hand?
It’s a pickaxe! (Mooo!)
Whatever have I got planned?
Gonna hit things! (Mooo!)
What’s inside? I gotta see!
Coins or diamonds? Mystery! (Moo!)
Numbered crates? They’re in my way!
Break ‘em down—no time to play! (Moo!)
[Pre-Chorus]
Down in the dark where the numbers glow,
Breaking the boxes row by row.
What will I find behind the stone?
Something shiny—mine alone!
[Chorus]
Oh, pickaxe, pickaxe! (Moo!)
Jumping right through the mineshaft! (Yeah!)
I’m gonna smash all the boxes! (Cool!)
I’m running with a pickaxe in hand! (Moo!)
Pickaxe all over the land! (Moo!)
[Break]
(Moo... Moo...)
[Bridge]
Moving forward with the strongest hand,
I’ll smash every box across the land.
Don’t leave any crates behind,
Smashing cubes of every kind! (Moo!)
[Spoken]
The mooing echoes through the night, alongside smashing boxes.
Around me, only dust and dirt, and occasionally random foxes.
The world is bleak inside this cave, but somehow oddly lit.
For in the mines, electric lamps are lighting all of it.
MOOOOOooooo
[Final Chorus]
Oh, pickaxe, pickaxe! (Moo!)
Jumping right through the mineshaft! (Yeah!)
I’m gonna smash all the boxes! (Cool!)
I’m running with a pickaxe in hand! (Moo!)
Pickaxe all over the land! (Moo!)
[Dave stands at the stove while Green observes from a safe distance. The kitchen still shows signs of yesterday's breakfast disaster]
Dave: See? Perfect set-up. Just like yesterday!
Green: That's what worries me. You've still got burnt egg stains on the ceiling.
Dave: Adds character! Now watch the master at work.
[Dave throws bacon directly into a hot pan, causing immediate splatter]
Green: No, no, no! At the very least use a splatter guard.
Dave: A guard? Like a cat or a rabbit?
Green: No. ... Like a mesh thing that goes over the top. Don't you have a splatter guard?
[Lady Computer displays a proper bacon-cooking tutorial]
Dave: Don't worry, I've got this under control!
[More bacon fat splatters everywhere]
Green: And you're supposed to lay the bacon down gently, like a baby in a crib, not throw it in like you're feeding piranhas!
Dave: ..
Green: Don't get any piranhas.
[Dave takes a swig from a nearby Coke can]
Green: Look, cooking bacon is like proper coding - you need patience and the right process.
Dave: Processes like frying, and crisping the bacon.
Green: Crisping is one thing. You're incinerating it! It's not one or the other, like Binary. It's a gradient of burntness, like in your Colanary thing.
Dave: [eyes widen] Culinary Colanary!! Exactly! And sometimes processes crash and restart!
Green: That's not... that's really not how either cooking or coding is supposed to work.
[Dave flips the bacon over with the enthusiasm of a juggling clown, causing more splatter]
Dave: See? Perfect! Just needs a bit more heat...
Green: Dave, no!
Dave: Dave, yes! The Cybersoft Bacon Protocol demands maximum power!
[Lady Computer frantically displays a fire warning]
[End Credits Roll]
Views 69, Upvotes 2
Daily Blog
,
Jse
New games every week!
Places
Archives
Site credits : All of the above : Jayenkai
(c) Jayenkai 2023 and onwards, RSS feed
91
