Let me talk you through what's happened since yesterday.

First off, I signed up as a Google Play developer.
I logged in, I joined up, I paid my Dev Fee, and all was going well.

I started adding a "SpikeDislike2-Lite" app to the GooglePlay store.
I filled in the details, and got everything nicely added using just my iPad.
I then slept...-=-=-

This morning, I pulled out the Laptop and uploaded screenshots, and big logos and all that.
Then it wanted the APK.
So I headed to the Monkey site, followed the given instructions, and "signed" the apk.

Then I uploaded the APK and all was happy.
NOTE : THERE WERE NO ERROR MESSAGES.
...
Then I had an hour or so to wait before it popped up on the AppStore, and I used my Nexus7 to download it.

It was at this point.. (ONCE MY APP WAS PUBLISHED) that I received the following message on my Nexus7.
"Package file was not signed correctly".

Oh, fucksocks..
So, I redid the key signing, double checking everything along the way, and went to reupload the new apk with the new certificate.
"You uploaded an APK that is signed with a different certificate to your previous APKs. "

.. Well, of course I did. There was an issue with the first one, so this is the fix..
.
hmm
OK, how do I fix this?
Let's start by deleting my original app.
..
Oh, there's no delete button.
hmm..
Deactivate the old APK, and THEN upload the new one?
No..
Hmm..
Let's start again. Delete..
.. Nope.. there's still no delete..
um..


... oh, bugger it, I'll just start again from scratch.

"You've uploaded an APK with the same package name as one of your other APKs"
WELL OF COURSE I BLOODY WELL HAVE!!!
ARGH!!!


...

Today hasn't been fun.
It's been very very frustrating.

To put it into perspective, it's been MORE frustrating than doing Apple crap.
At least with Apple you can redo-from-start if you fuck it up.
What kind of arseholes don't give you a delete button!!?

I started this about 4 hours ago.
Four whole entire hours that I could've spent coding, but instead spent sitting here silently shouting and screaming at my laptop.

My first day of GooglePlay has been incredibly annoying, to say the least.
I might try this all again, tomorrow, or I might not bother.
I'm very very angry right now.