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[Scene One]
Int. Dave's workshop

[Dave is hunched over a workbench, surrounded by dismantled GameBoys and various electronic components. Green enters, looking bewildered.]
Green: Dave, what on earth are you doing?
Dave: [looking up with his cola-grin] I'm building a phone, Greenie!
Green: [cautiously] A phone? Made out of... old GameBoys?
Dave: Not just GameBoys. I've got parts from my old ZX Spectrum too. It's going to be brilliant!
Green: [skeptically] Right. And why exactly do you need to build a phone?
Dave: Because regular phones are boring. This one's going to play the Tetris theme when it rings!
Green: [sighs] Of course it does. You know, most people would just download a ringtone.
Dave: Where's the fun in that? Plus, this way I can make sure it's cola-proof.
Green: [rolling his eyes] Because that's clearly the most important feature for a phone.

[Scene Two]
Int. Dave's workshop - Later that afternoon

[Dave is still working on his Frankenstein phone. Green is watching, both fascinated and horrified.]
Dave: [triumphantly] Aha! I've got it working!
Green: [surprised] Really? Let's see it then.
[Dave holds up a contraption that looks like a GameBoy glued to a ZX Spectrum keyboard with an 80s phone antenna sticking out]
Dave: Isn't she beautiful?
Green: [staring] It's... something, alright. Can it actually make calls?
Dave: [hesitating] No.... But it can play Tetris!
Green: [sarcastically] Oh, well that's useful. You know, for when you're bored during all those calls you can't make.
Dave: Don't be such a pessimist, Greenie. Watch this!
[Dave presses a button and the Tetris theme starts playing loudly]
Dave: [shouts] See? Perfect ringtone!
Green: [wincing] Great. I'm sure that won't get annoying at all.
Dave: [silencing the phone] Hey, it's better than that time I tried to make my PC talk!
Green: [shuddering] Modern PCs can talk just fine, Dave. In fact, modern phones are fairly functional, too.
Dave: This one's functional. Look. Tetris!
Green: Yes, but.. Phone?
Dave: I'll get to that bit.

[Scene Three]
Int. Dave's living room - Evening

[Dave is sprawled on the couch, still tinkering with his makeshift phone. Green is watching TV, trying to ignore the occasional beeps and blips from Dave's direction.]
Dave: [excited] Greenie! I think I've got it making calls now!
Green: [skeptically] Oh really? Who are you going to call?
Dave: [pauses] Um... I hadn't thought that far ahead. Maybe I could call the coke company and suggest some new flavours!
Green: Oh, and what flavours might you suggest?
Dave: Gameboy? Spectrum rubber keys?
Green: Sounds like a fantastic flavour combination.

[Dave starts pressing buttons randomly. Suddenly, the phone starts smoking]
Dave: Uh oh.
Green: [jumping up] I'll get the fire extinguisher.
Dave: It's ok, it's just the rubber membrane from the Speccy keyboard. I probably should've used the GameBoy DPad for the numbers.

[The phone starts making a high-pitched whine]
Green: [backing away] I think you should put that down, Dave.
Dave: [holding the phone at arm's length] Yeah, good idea.

[Dave tosses the phone into a nearby bucket of cola, where it fizzles and spurts]
Dave: There. Coke fixes everything.

[The phone gives one last fizzle and goes quiet]
Green: That doesn't seem very fixed.
Dave: [already perking up] You're right! Time to start on a new project. How about a cola-powered TV remote?
Green: [groaning] I need a vacation.

[End credits roll]