Dear Mr Goo,
I'm sorry to hear about your terrible summer. It would appear that the extreme temperatures, which have plagued our summer this year, have dried up your usually viscous epidermal layer, and you're now approximately as slimy as a rusty nail.
I'd like to assure you that we're striving to help you in any way that we can.
Please find enclosed, a cool bottle of water, fresh from the streams of the local valley, with which you might be able to reinvigorate your extremities.
Yours,
Ted Bob
C.E.O. Mystery Water Bottle Inc.

[verse]
Oh, Mr. Goo, what a summer you've had
The heat wave hit, and things got bad
Your slimy skin, once so cool
Now dry as dust, oh what a fool!

[chorus]
Mr. Goo, you're in a pickle
Your viscous layer's gone fickle
From gooey glory to rusty nail
It's time to quench your thirsty tale!

[break]

[verse]
Mystery Water Bottle Inc.
Has heard your cry, we're on the brink
Of solving all your sticky woes
With valley water that freely flows

[chorus]
Mr. Goo, you're in a pickle
Your viscous layer's gone fickle
From gooey glory to rusty nail
It's time to quench your thirsty tale!

[break]

[bridge]
We're here to help, don't you fret
Our CEO, Ted Bob, you've met
He's sending aid, a cool surprise
To bring the gleam back to your eyes

[break]

[chorus]
Mr. Goo, you're in a pickle
But soon you'll be more than a trickle
From rusty nail to gooey fame
You'll slide again, back in the game!

JNKCE20241006
[Scene One]

Ext. Park - Tuesday morning

[Dave and Green are jogging along a path, both looking exhausted and out of breath.]
Green: [panting] My body isn't meant for this sort of thing, Dave. I'm used to sitting at a desk.
Dave: [wheezing] It's... good for us... Greenie. Gotta... stay healthy.
Green: [skeptically] Since when do you care about health? You thrive off of cola and electronics.
Dave: [checking his watch] I'm hoping my.. watch battery lasts... long enough to get... a nice step-count.
Green: Why the interest in steps?
Dave: I need to log it ... ... in my new logger tool.
Green: [stopping abruptly] Wait... This is for a new tool? Oh no.
Dave: [grinning] Isn't it brilliant? .. I call it the 'Cola-Calorie .. Counter.. Calculator'!
Green: [groaning] I should've asked. I knew there was something "Dave" going on here.

[Scene Two]
Int. Dave's Apartment - Later

[Dave is excitedly showing Green his new invention, a mess of wires connecting his smartwatch to a computer.]
Dave: Look, Greenie! It calculates how many steps I need to take to burn off each can of cola!
Green: [sarcastically] Brilliant. But that's just the calories. It doesn't burn off the general insanity, does it?
Dave: [defensively] Hey, don't blame that on the cola.
Green: And there's no lasers?
Dave: [thoughtfully] Ooh, laser lights.
Green: [alarmed] No, Dave! No more wires necessary. Good grief, this is insane levels of wiring.

[Suddenly, the device starts sparking]
AI Greenie: [from across the room] I presume that wasn't supposed to happen like that, Dave.
Green: [sighing] Of course it is. It wouldn't be a Dave-contraption without sparking.

[Scene Three]
Int. Dave's kitchen - Evening

[Dave is trying to make a cup of tea while his watch, still on his wrist, is also still connected to the computer. Green watches in horror.]
Green: Dave, please disconnect that thing before you cause another powercut.
Dave: [struggling with the kettle] It's fine, Greenie! Look, I can still do everything normally.

[Dave trips over a wire, sending cola cans flying]
Green: I guess that is perfectly normal.
Dave: Hey, maybe I could add a network of overhead cables through the apartment so that I can trail my watch around?
Green: [firmly] No, Dave. Just... no. How about we focus on getting you untangled for now, and unplug the wires?
Dave: But then how will it know when I'm sleeping? It needs to be charged!
Green: It's been plugged in for over an hour. If it isn't charged now, you've got no hope.
Dave: I think I'll have to have a look into the overhead thing. Could be worth a try.
Green: They do wireless bluetooth and wifi, nowadays, Dave.
Dave: Yeah, but that's even more energy for the battery to burn. No, this is definitely the better way to do it.
Green: [gives up] And that's my cue to leave! Goodnight Dave. See you tomorrow. Or at least see a giant sprawling mass of wires tomorrow!

[End credits]