Our world spiralled out of control, yesterday, as our beloved Soup Machine souped its last.
-=-=-
*beep* went the machine, and beep and beep once more, as the machine struggled to even attempt to make the soup Mum had made 100 times before.
It just couldn't quite cope with it, this time, and beeped until it could beep no more.
The troubles really started that time that we tried adding a tin of chopped tomatoes into the mix, assuming it'd cope with that as if it were coping with regular tomatoes and some water. But apparently not. It burnt a bit on the bottom, and things never quite tasted right ever since.
Lesson learned. We'll be avoiding that mistake this time around.
Fresh veg only, from now on.
Honestly, we could do with a quicker way to get soup veg, but Mum's quite quite fussy about her veg, and avoids Swede and Turnip, which are ALWAYS in the pre-chopped packs of Soup Veg Mix stuff.
We also don't "really" have a good place, nearby, to buy fresh veg.
There's the local Tesco, but, again, everything pre-packed there, so you can't just buy "a couple of carrots", you have to buy a ginormous 17 megaton bag of pre-packed carrots, knowing you're only going to use 2 and will be throwing the rest away.
Ugh.
Our nearby town is full of Lidl stores, all of which seem to have nice fresh produce available, but every single one is "just" far enough away from a bus ride that it makes it frustrating to get to any of them.
Meanwhile, the local Market has currently been demolished and is awaiting a redo-from-start, whilst the temporary Market is apparently quite bad for grocers.
We've been tempted to do one of those "Local farmer online" things. I think I'll probably look into those again, today. See if I can find one relatively close, and that does packs of a moderately decent size, enough for 2 people without being "too" much.
.. Gawd, this Soup Machine's going to cost me a fortune, isn't it!!!?
[chorus]
Beep, Beep, Beep, went the soup machine.
Beep, Beep, Beep, till it died.
Beeping almost endlessly,
To let us know it tried.
[verse]
We've made this soup a hundred times,
We know the Soup Machine can do it.
But for some odd reason, this final time,
The machine's blade couldn't cut through it.
The veg was prepped, and stock went in,
The buttons were pushed as always.
But for some odd reason it didn't work.
I guess it just doesn't like Fridays.
[chorus]
Beep, Beep, Beep, went the soup machine.
Beep, Beep, Beep, till it died.
Beeping almost endlessly,
To let us know it tried.
[outro]
Beep, Beep, Beep, It was warning us.
Beep, Beep, Beep, no more.
The soup machine had beeped its last,
So we went and threw it out the back door.
[Green enters to find Dave measuring a dinner jacket]
Green: Dare I ask?
Dave: Number Nine. Our Friend Divine will be the guest speaker at tonight's grand dinner event.
Green: Aaah, I see. .. and why's the giraffe covered in plasters?
Dave: Roller-skating accident. It tried to high-five the T-Rex.
Green: I thought that's why you chose a giraffe? So it'd be high enough for a high-five?
Dave: Yes, but I forgot the T-Rex isn't a dinosaur.
Green: Because of the arms thing?
Dave: No, because he's terrible at roller-skating.
[Dave carefully fitting a dinner jacket onto a porcupine statue]
Dave: Pass me the Cola, would you?
Green: What for, this time?
Dave: Starch. For the collar.
Green: And you're putting a jacket onto a porcupine because...
Dave: He has to wear something at the dinner table, obviously.
Green: (sighs) The heavenly cat's judging you again.
Dave: No it's not, it's giving fashion advice!
Green: To you, or the porcupine?
Dave: Hmm. That's a good question. Maybe I should get myself a dinner jacket, too?
[Scene Three]
Int. Dave's Bunker - Grand Hall
[The porcupine statue stands magnificently in its dinner jacket]
Green: Beautiful, David. And .. You built a dining hall, apparently.
Dave: These lasers are awesome!
Green: I'm sure Matt has absolutely no issues at all with you carving more and more of the ground under RCHomes.
Dave: It's ok, he hasn't seen this bit yet.
Green: And, why is the giraffe now spinning?
Dave: It's not spinning, it's waltzing!
Green: With the T-Rex..?
Dave: Yeah, I tried to get them to hold hands, but .. Well, you know.. That's how Giraffe ended up with all the plasters.
Green: Good grief, this is getting ridiculous. .. And it's only day nine!
Dave: We'll be outside, tomorrow. Number Ten is for the Chicken Pen.
Green: What Chicken Pen?
Dave: Don't worry, they're all wearing top hats!
[End credits roll]
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