[verse]
I'm fixing up the controls of the Arcade.
(Look at me fixing the controls of the Arcade.)
Code is all over the screen as I do that.
(The code explodes over the screen, oh yeah)

I first figure out how wide the screen is.
(w w equals the width of the screen)
And then how big the height is too.
(w h equals the height of the screen)

[chorus - breakbeat]
It's the heart of the code.
Knowing where it all goes.
Learn how big that we need.
So it has the right feel.

Now I think we should know.
Where your fingers will go.
When they press the screen.
As they play how they mean.

[bridge]
If the player hits the dee pad on the left of the button,
Then we have to set the Button Left variable.
If the player hits the dee pad on the right of the button,
Then we have to set the Button Right variable.

If the player hits the dee pad on the top of the button,
Then we have to set the Button Up variable.
If the player hits the dee pad on the bottom of the button,
Then the Button Bottom variable is going to be set.
(Woo!)

[chorus - breakbeat]
It's the heart of the code.
Knowing where it all goes.
Learn how big that we need.
So it has the right feel.

Now I think we should know.
Where your fingers will go.
When they press the screen.
As they play how they mean.

[interlude]
A Button (yeah)
Bee Button (woo)
(No C, No D.)
A Button (yeah)
Bee Button (woo)
(No C, No D.)
A Button (yeah)
Bee Button (woo)
(No C, No D.)
A Button (yeah)
Bee Button (woo)
(No C, No D.)

[chorus - breakbeat]
It's the heart of the code.
Knowing where it all goes.
Learn how big that we need.
So it has the right feel.

Now I think we should know.
Where your fingers will go.
When they press the screen.
As they play how they mean.

JNKCE20250630
Timeline Troubles

Int. Dave's Games and ScrunchCakes - Monday Morning

[Dave is meticulously place ZX Spectrum games on the timeline shelves.]

Green: It's about time we saw some new games up there. .. Oh. It’s more Count Duckula.
Dave: Someone was selling ZX Spectrum games at the Church Fete yesterday. Bargain! Five quid for the lot. Except Elite. He wanted twenty quid for that one.
Green: (Sighing) What is your obsession with Count Duckula?
Dave: You just got here at the wrong time. Look, the box is full of other games.

[Mrs Thompson enters, carrying the first tray of today's ScrunchCakes.]

Mrs Thompson: Are you still fussing with those games? You've got five minutes until the doors open.
Dave: It's important to get the timeline correct! The timeline is the heart of this shop, Mrs Thompson.
Green: It really isn't. Those stupid cakes have taken over, Dave. This is literally "The thing on the side".
Dave: Yeah, but it's a well organised thing on the side.
Green: It’s a confusing mess of tapes and nostalgia, Dave. A customer asked me where to find Bubble Bobble yesterday. I pointed at the wall and said, "Somewhere in that chaos."
Dave: You didn't?
Green: Well, no, I pointed to the left side because I know it's really old.
Dave: Bubble Bobble was mid eighties. It's more .. [points slightly further right] About there.
Green: [sarcastically] Sorry, Dave. I don't appear to have the timeline memorised, yet.
Dave: That's ok, Greenie. I'll print you a spreadsheet.
Mrs Thompson: Two minutes, guys.
Dave: No time for that. I'll make you a spreadsheet later. Pass me more tapes!

[End credits roll]