[pre-chorus]
I tried doing some music. Didn't do well.
I tried the Fruit Bowl. Didn't do well.
Rewriting J.M.Tracker. Didn't do well.
It's far too hot to do anything well.

[chorus]
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Far too hot to do things. (Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat)
(Heatwave)


[verse]
The average temperature according to the sensible thermometer
(A sensible thermometer, yeah)
Was around about twenty nine degrees in Celcius
(Around about eighty four - Eff )

[verse]
In a house without any sort of Air Con, (air con)
and only a big Fan from Amazon, (Amazon)
We really didn't fair very well. (oh no)
It was far too hot. (heat heat heat heat)

[pre-chorus]
I tried doing some music. Didn't do well.
I tried the Fruit Bowl. Didn't do well.
Rewriting J.M.Tracker. Didn't do well.
It's far too hot to do anything well.

[chorus]
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Far too hot to do things. (Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat)
(Heatwave)

[bridge]
What am I supposed to do in the middle of a heatwave, man, I can't even think. It's too hot in here. I can't cope. Bring me the fan. Bring me a bigger fan. Throw some ice cold water on me. It's too hot. Aargh!

[pre-chorus]
I tried doing some music. Didn't do well.
I tried the Fruit Bowl. Didn't do well.
Rewriting J.M.Tracker. Didn't do well.
It's far too hot to do anything well.

[chorus]
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat
(Heatwave)
Far too hot to do things. (Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat)
(Heatwave)

[outro]
I tried doing some music in the Heatwave (Heatwave)
I tried the Fruit Bowl in the Heatwave (Heatwave)
Rewriting J.M.Tracker in the Heatwave (Heatwave)
It's far too hot in the Heatwave (Heatwave)

JNKCE20250712

The Saturday Rush

Int. Shop Floor - Mid Morning

[The shop is bustling. Dave is frantically trying to serve multiple customers while Green mans the till.]

Dave: It was first created back in 1982, but computers weren't powerful enough to play it, so the programmer had to sit on the idea for another 3 years before bringing it to the Amstrad CPC.
Customer 2: For a ScrunchCake?
Dave: Sorry, no, that was this guy's question. What was it you asked?
Customer 2: For a Vanilla ScrunchCake
Dave: That's right. Sorry.
Customer 3: Is that the one that was glowing blue yesterday?
Dave: No, that was the fridge.

[Mrs Thompson sweeps in, immediately taking control]

Mrs Thompson: One vanilla ScrunchCake. David, you go and help that man over there.
Dave: Greenie?
Mrs Thompson: No, the one who's slowly unspooling the tape from that cassette.
Dave: Oh my god!! [runs over]

[Meanwhile, Greenie's chatting with a customer at the till]
Green: Even with the pokes, it was still hard.
Customer 4: So, unless you had the cheats..?
Green: That was the great thing about BASIC. You could type in a listing from a magazine, and it would pre-hack the game whilst it loaded.
Customer 4: That does sound useful.
Green: Sure was, and all the magazines had these cheats. I do miss cheat codes.
Customer 5: Do you have any of those Purple cake things?
Green: Mrs Thompson, over there, does the cake things.
Mrs Thompson: You're going to have to wait, the Purples are still doing their thing.
Customer 5: What thing?
Mrs Thompson: Baking. They're still in the oven.
Customer 5: Ok. I'll wait.

[Dave comes back over]
Dave: Has anybody got a pen I can borrow?

[End Credits Roll]