Blog - Oh yeah, WELL FUCK YOU, TOO!!!

25th May 2009

I'm a calm person.
I will happily settle with what I've got, and be glad that I have it.
I don't own a copy of Flash, I can't afford it, and I'm not going to steal it.

So I carry on making games in Blitz, and whatever else I can get my hands on.

So, with my £100 Phone, from LG, (The KP500 'Cookie') I started to write games using the freely available MidletPascal.
It's a wonderful piece of software, and it does many great things.

-=-=-

But, the Cookie has many many issues with Java.
For starters, the Java they put into it, point blank refuses to work with the accelerometer they also put into it.
Which means, you can't make ANY games that make use of it.
The only things on the phone that DO use it, are the following.
1. Onscreen keyboard. Turn the phone around and up pops the touchscreen keyboard.
2. Photo gallery. Turn the phone around to look at the phone in widescreen.
3. Roll the Dice game. A game so mindbogglingy crap that a cat could probably get a better score than you.

That's it.

See, to make use of said accelerometer, you need to use the internal Flash (Lilac-UI FX or something to that effect.)
The problem, of course, is that LG have made this specially for said Cookie, and won't share it.
They won't let ANYONE access the thing.
Which means, my lovely useful phone contains an accelerometer, who's life is destined to pretty much just turn photos around.

This sucks..

It really really really really sucks.

So, off to the LG site goes Jay, and he requests some info about it.

I've been working with the LG KP500 (cookie) for about a month now, and am getting to grips with the dos and don'ts of the Java.

What I'd like to know is whether I could access the Motion Sensor, at all, from within Java, since JSR256 seems to be incompatible.
.
If that's not doable, is there a way I can use the embedded flash to develop a few games.

I can't imagine that you would release such an amazingly useful device, and then completely stop all support.. But I do understand that you're all busy, and can't sit there making games specifically for each device.
So, I'm offering my help.

Give me the tools, and I'll make your cookie shine in ways that freshly baked cookies probably shouldn't shine.. Unless you add icing on the top.. then they'd shine a bit..
..
Jayenkai - AGameAWeek.com

LG responded with the following wonderful piece of information.

Dear Jayenkai,
KP500 doesn't not support JSR256,
Best Regards,

*sigh*

Let's try again, shall we.

Oh, come on, guys..

Throw me a bone, here!
I paid for a device, it's got a perfectly decent accellerometer in it, and I can't see why the only thing it's good for is to turn photos around!

It's a waste of tech!

All I'm asking is for you guys to give me a chance.
Let me make some stuff with the Flash technology.
Let me build a few games.
You could even shove 'em on your website, maybe make a few bucks.

Just give me the chance to stop all the hundreds of thousands of people from whinging their asses off about the lack of games for this thing.

The Cookie is GOOD, stop ignoring it!

Jayenkai - AGameAWeek.com <-- I write a game a week, already, it's not like I can't do it!!

To which they wonderfully replied with..

Dear Jayenkai,

Unfortunately, KP500 doesn't formally support the JSR256

But, In the KM900, It supports it.

Best Regards,

Or, essentially

"Buy a more expensive phone. We like money."

So, here's my great big Fuck You to LG.

You're all a bunch of money grabbing arseholes.
Your phones might sell better if you actually give a shit.

Don't buy an LG KP500 Cookie.
In fact, fuck it.
Don't buy ANY LG phone.
Ever.

I'm not a fan of digg, but Digg LG's arses off.

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