JNKCE20240919
[Scene One]

Int. Dave's apartment - Morning

[Dave is slumped on the couch, surrounded by crumpled papers. Green enters, carrying his pet rock.]
Green: Dave, what's wrong? You look like you've been debugging hospital computers again.
Dave: Worse, Greenie. My Zen Office promotion is a total flop!
Green: You mean people aren't interested in virtual sticky notes and imaginary printer repairs?
Dave: I even offered 3% off vouchers on Myspace!
Green: Well, I can't imagine what else you could try.
Dave: It's failed, hasn't it.
Green: Well, it's not exactly been an overnight success. That doesn't mean it's failed completely, though.
Dave: All hope is lost, Greenie. There's just no way it's ever going to take off, now.

[Scene Two]
Int. Dave's apartment - Afternoon

[Dave is pacing, while Mr. Duckello sits on the table]
Dave: Mr. Duckello, what am I doing wrong? Why doesn't anyone want to experience the joy of zen office repair?
Green: Would you not prefer a human's opinion?
Dave: Mr. Duckello is my spiritual guide in all things zen and office-related!
Green: Given how well it's gone so far, maybe it's time to stop listening to the duck.
Dave: Greenie, you're a genius! A Coke-powered Zen Office kiosk!
Green: What? That's not what I-
Dave: It's perfect! We'll set it up in the garden, right next to my chakra-aligning rocks!
Green: [defeated] Oh no...

[Scene Three]
Ext. Dave's garden - Evening

[Dave is standing next to a contraption made of computer parts, empty Coke cans, and fairy lights. Green looks on in horror.]
Dave: Behold, Greenie! The Coke-Powered Zen Office Experience Kiosk!
Green: This doesn't look very safe.
Dave: Nonsense! It's perfectly safe. Watch!

[Dave flips a switch. The contraption buzzes, fizzes, and then explodes in a shower of sparks and sticky soda.]
Green: Well, it didn't blow up, so that's something.
Dave: [covered in soda and looking dejected] I don't understand, Greenie. Why doesn't anyone want to experience the zen of virtual office repair?
Green: Maybe because most people prefer their office equipment to be, you know, real? And/or not covered in cola.
Dave: Not covered in coke..? Could we make giant covers for all the computers? People can prod the keys through plastic sheets, right?
Green: Dave, no-
Dave: Yes! We'll create physical Zen Office supplies! Keyboard covers, monitor wraps, cling film for mouses.
Green: [sighs] Goodnight, Dave.
[As Dave excitedly plans his new "tangible" Zen Office supplies, Green picks up his pet rock and walks away, muttering about the impending office supply apocalypse.]